Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What drink are we having for lunch?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
