If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
