Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
