whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
