i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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