Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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