I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
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Is it penis luge time yet?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
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When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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