Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
