That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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