we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
