I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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