Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
