Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize