Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize