he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
