We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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