What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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