im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
