I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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