Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize