If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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