I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
