so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
