I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
