one word: firstdatebathroomanal
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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