Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize