Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize