Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
