after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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