and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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