life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
