You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
