And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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