Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
