week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
