It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
