You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
