In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I believe in your delicious
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
