In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
