I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
