Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
