i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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