capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
