Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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