just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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