He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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