So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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