if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
