Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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