The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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