if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You can't just leave with hair like that
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
