she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
