It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
