Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
