You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
