I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize