Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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