I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize