if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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