I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
