You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
